Corvus Imbrifer (

corvus_imbrifer) wrote,
2007-09-28 18:54:00

Strangers in Gilead

A period piece. Not typical with regards to structure, development, and vocabulary, so may not be everyone’s cup of whiskey, to be sure. I will claim it is ’avant guarde.’ Oh, and there is sex in it, but nothing that will make anyone *is ded*. And swearing.

And a long piece, upwards of forty thousand words. No, really. It was recommended to me that given the sheer volume of verbiage, I should mount the Story, the Epilogue and Afterward as PDF files. For those that love the feel of the printed page over the glowing screen, this should make for a more enjoyable and printable reading experience. In any event it should make for less clicking.

Many, many thanks to Simpatico, Mamajamallama, Anthrophile and Arcfire for many, many hours of discussion regarding the nature of writing fiction (pro, fan, porn, fiction, non), grammar, punctuation, concepts, cruel truths, Supernatural, and stuff. More said in the Afterward.

Strangers in Gilead

Strangers in Gilead - Epilogue

Strangers in Gilead - Afterward

An addition: For those not enamored of PDF, here is an HTML version:

Strangers in Gilead - HTML

Tags: supernatural fiction

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137 comments

September 30 2007, 02:44:55 UTC 4 years ago

Umm...WOW, WOW, WOW! One of the best fanfics I've read, if not the best. Definitely at the top five.

corvus_imbrifer

October 1 2007, 01:52:32 UTC 4 years ago

Top five?>/i> Drat. Back to the drawing board, then.

Thanks for wading all the way through it!

4 years ago

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Anonymous

September 30 2007, 12:09:10 UTC 4 years ago

I enjoy the time taken to settle the scene. Panoramic shot or 19th century descriptiveness, though the latter would have been longer, I think. I like how the characters are gradually introduced, one overlapping with the other, and how the story just seamlessly flows.
And I'm reading along. Delighted.
The supernatural cleverly surrounds the story without really coming into play, the action centering on the characters. Which is just as well.
At one point, it strikes me that the structure follows the classical theatrical structure of the three unities - unity of place, unity of time, unity of action. True that the end breaks the pattern, but if I take it as a first epilogue, the unities are there. The story is set in only one place (and told by one character). It unfolds within 24 hours. The action revolves around one main plot line (and one hero) - Sam who's come for Dean.
Well, anyways. Kudos.
Sacha

corvus_imbrifer

October 1 2007, 01:59:11 UTC 4 years ago

Would you have liked more 19th Century descriptiveness? I can add more! (My editors were ruthless. Without ruth. I am verbose.)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and particularly interested at your take on the structure: one of the issues we dealt with was the jump from the action story to the intimate (so to speak), which was not particularly well transitioned. And there were two epilogues, really.

Thanks for taking the time to comment, also!

October 1 2007, 18:54:28 UTC 4 years ago

Oh, and you should really post this to a community. What's the point of writing an awesome fic if nobody gets to read it?

quellefromage

October 6 2007, 18:27:29 UTC 4 years ago

Honestly, I had things to do today, but now, pffffft.
I have been wanting, desiring, hoping and praying for a Cowboy Winchester story, and the fiction gods blessed me tenfold with this.

Love every single bit of this; it was clever, well researched, perfectly plotted, and gorgeously written.

Where have you been all my life?

BRAVO to you. Now off to rec this to EVERYONE.

corvus_imbrifer

October 6 2007, 23:43:26 UTC 4 years ago

Very kind of you to say so! I don't have a wide readership, so it's nice to get a new viewpoint. I was urged to post to the fiction communities, so hopefully it will be a good contribution.

I was worried that the plot was too obscure in flowery language. And I'm a word-a-day writer, thus my low output.

October 7 2007, 00:00:50 UTC 4 years ago

I'm stunned! I love western movies and I thought your fic read like one. It was so well written!!

If you don't already write pro. you should! You could easily make this fic an original piece and have it published. I'd totally buy it:-)
xx

corvus_imbrifer

October 7 2007, 19:33:47 UTC 4 years ago

Thanks indeed! I do think it's a downhill climb, though working with the established Winchester characters that we all know well, and using the Western trope is also just takes referencing common elements. Most of the hard work is done, and the rest filled in by the reader. Glad you liked it!

4 years ago

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October 7 2007, 02:44:31 UTC 4 years ago

I am slayed.

I am sorry, but I am pimping this on my F-list. Fic this phenomenally good *must* be shared with others. I love, love, love this.

corvus_imbrifer

October 16 2007, 04:30:42 UTC 4 years ago

Re: I am slayed.

Kind words indeed! I hope your friends come by and read as well. Thanks!

October 7 2007, 13:53:28 UTC 4 years ago

That was truly beautifully done. Absolutely engrossing, with so many perfect details; I love the way it spun out, tantalizing questions eventually answered, and the outsider POV giving us a gorgeous view of the guys. Fascinating original characters, intriguing plot, and great brotherly interaction -- and I adore Westerns, which makes this all the more wonderful.

Fantastic work! Bravo!

corvus_imbrifer

October 16 2007, 04:29:45 UTC 4 years ago

I wasn't entirely sure it was 'western' enough, but I am glad to hear you found it so. The outsider POV was key, as you found. The people who never hear the full story, who meet the Winchesters, are affected by them, and then are left wondering.

Thanks!

October 7 2007, 19:18:40 UTC 4 years ago

Oh, hell yes. That was amazing. Have just recc'd the heck out of it to my flist, many of whom often say what the world needs now is Winchesters in the Old West. God. SO GOOD. I loved the way you managed to get so much information and characterization across from the outsider perspective (let's hear it for peepholes, eh?), and how you let the slow reveal of what was going on, how they got there, etc. build. I anticipated losing interest because we weren't going to SEE a lot of the action take place, but I never did. The tension was tight throughout, and man alive, when the action did come home, you brought it. That fight--perfect for the Winchester reunion--was a thing of beauty. Um. As were all those lovely scenes in and around that bathtub. OMG and the glory of Sam buying his brother some company for the evening, and then trying to have a civilized conversation while Dean's getting it on, loudly, next door. Too precious, I tell you. And THANK YOU for that lovely set of scenes with Sam and Miss Rose. Sam girl that I am, I gotta say that I loved every single thing about it.

Okay. I really have to go do my homework now. Why I decided grad school was a good idea when there's fic to be read I can't say. But there it is. Thank you for a marvelous read.

corvus_imbrifer

November 29 2007, 23:03:29 UTC 4 years ago

I just glanced back over my comment lists and don't see a response to your comment. My apologies!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Particularly the Sam characterization, that's so important to get right. (And often neglected in the show, if you ask me.)

Hope school is going well!

trishabooms

October 8 2007, 01:08:51 UTC 4 years ago

I nearly didn't read this because I'm working on an RPF western using Jared, Jensen and Jeffrey Dean Morgan and I worried a little. Stupidly really because the only real similarity is the Western setting.

I adore westerns, and yours was excellent. I couldn't stop reading and enjoyed every word.

You write a wonderful Sam, I thought he was perfect.

I loved the attention to period detail. I thought you balanced it beautifully, never letting it detract from the actual story.

Oh and Dean singing the Firefly theme, that's going to be in my head for quite a while!!

Thank you so much for a truly enjoyable read.

corvus_imbrifer

November 29 2007, 22:59:25 UTC 4 years ago

I just glanced back over my comment lists and don't see a response to your comment. My apologies!

So glad you enjoyed it. Particularly the characterization of Sam, that's so important to get right. I think Dean would make a good Browncoat, don't you?

October 8 2007, 02:32:22 UTC 4 years ago

This was utterly fantastic - I loved the outsider POV, the image of Sam in his long black coat, and Dean in his altogether *g*, and their reunion, and their fight after the battle. And then Dean singing the Firefly theme! Hee! Awesome.

corvus_imbrifer

October 16 2007, 04:26:29 UTC 4 years ago

I was afraid the Firefly reference would be too obscure. But I rather imagine Dean is a Browncoat, don't you think?

Thanks!

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corvus_imbrifer

October 16 2007, 04:24:32 UTC 4 years ago

Re: this was a very good story

A real curse, attention to accuracy. I spent quite a while just looking for maps of Nebraska in 1871. Had to change a town name because it hadn't been established yet. I'm pleased it paid off for you! Thanks!

innie_darling

October 10 2007, 18:02:21 UTC 4 years ago

That was so impressive! To hang such a long and potentially confusing story on an outsider POV takes a great deal of skill, and you've apparently got it. I very much enjoyed how much of the boys I could see, despite the change of names and the change in time. What a beautiful story.

corvus_imbrifer

October 16 2007, 04:22:43 UTC 4 years ago

That was my original thought: what about the people who never heard the full story? They are affected by the Winchesters, who then ride off into the sunset. I'm glad that element worked for you. Thanks!

October 16 2007, 03:09:31 UTC 4 years ago

I downloaded this last night to read offline - thanks for the PDF by the way. Just going to read a bit at a time while finishing the laundry, etc. Whoa! Four hours later I look up and it's 1 a.m. and I have to get up at 5. It was worth it. I can't tell you the last time a book or story has made me slow down and savor every line. It reads like The Virginian by Wister and it felt like I should be reading it out loud, like a Jane Austen novel. The TV and song references were fun and funny. Sam, you're so Adam, not Ben. But your descriptions of Sam and Dean - both behavioral and physical - were what kept me reading. That and the creeping horror of that town and the gathering storm. Sometimes wide open empty spaces are more terrifying than a dark room. Thank you. I'm going to be reading this one again and again - just not tonight. ;-)

corvus_imbrifer

October 16 2007, 04:20:50 UTC 4 years ago

As in 'I couldn't put it down?' There's something every writer hopes to hear. I'm so glad you like the elements I worked on especially (language, mood, characterization and nekkid). In that order, of course. Thanks!

Anonymous

October 18 2007, 00:44:34 UTC 4 years ago

Amazing Work

Karasu, you know I'm not usually a reader of fan fic, but when I wandered into that thread and saw that you had a new story posted I just had to read. I was not disappointed. In fact, I've just printed out the pdf's to re-read at leisure, and that's something I rarely do. The story was amazingly well-told, and I've been wishing for a Winchester western for ages (the only thing missing was Sam Elliott, and that's my own personal kink, soooo...). Fabulous touches all the way through, and the story was just so... lush. I could picture it in my mind so clearly (and might I say, woof!). You've outdone yourself. To what gods do I make the appropriate sacrifice so that this becomes an episode?? Never mind, scratch that, they could never put it to screen as written, and that would be a loss.

- Beansidhe

corvus_imbrifer

October 18 2007, 17:49:46 UTC 4 years ago

Re: Amazing Work

But... Who else did you think was cast as Buell? And the little blond surfer kid from "John from Cincinnati" plays Tully, and... Well, as you say, no sense casting this for television. Not without serious edits in some sections. Ahem.

Thanks indeed.

October 30 2007, 22:15:30 UTC 4 years ago

That was completely amazing. I enjoyed it so much I was actually rooting for Dean and Sam getting to stay in the past.

corvus_imbrifer

October 31 2007, 19:20:05 UTC 4 years ago

And don't you know that partway along I found myself smack up against the contrivance that forced them to return: exactly the kind of forced resolution that I scold the show writers for perpetrating.

I kept picturing how things would go if clever Sam figured out a way to beat the system, then realized I was creating an AU of an AU. Bizarre.

That's quite a compliment, then, if you could envision the ongoing future for them there.

October 30 2007, 23:47:12 UTC 4 years ago

Wow. What an incredible tale you've written! I don't really know what to say - I love your perfectly well-rounded characters and the world you put them, and I love the situations the brother's found themselves in. Beyond all that I loved seeing the world through your main character's eyes and hearing her internal dialogue. It really brought me into the story and kept me there. (I also love the phrase "more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." I haven't heard that in ages!)

I'm so glad I found your fic - excellent work!

corvus_imbrifer

October 31 2007, 19:22:43 UTC 4 years ago

I'm so pleased you saw into the original conceit: the viewpoint of those people the brothers encounter. Never quite hearing the full story, their lives are touched then the boys move on.

Glad you liked it!

4 years ago

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November 23 2007, 13:14:12 UTC 4 years ago

This was an incredibly enjoyable read -- I loved the use of the outsider perspective, the way the plot unfolded, the strangeness of Sam and Dean in the past, and how well they fit it. Lovely and lush, and it's always good to see something worked on so long come out so well.

re: your afterword, you might, I think, have overcome the language of Deadwood to enjoy it -- that's the sense I get from what you've created here, at least.

corvus_imbrifer

November 26 2007, 15:29:30 UTC 4 years ago

So glad you found it worth the long read. The language did make for a long write. I've watched 'Deadwood' since, of course, a wonderful show, but wanted to avoid doing a 'crossover.' (That requires equally intimate knowledge of both shows.) Thanks indeed.

Cheers!

November 28 2007, 04:38:11 UTC 4 years ago

Absolutely and utterly wonderful. Really. I skip headers, and no clue what, exactly, it was all about - got here on a recommendation from a flist person, who's name i, alas, cannot recall.

So the sudden drop of *Alice Copper* into the mix made me squeak with joy and then... Lovely! Just lovely.

It actually reads a bit like Deadwood sounded, the 'f' word aside - our semi-hero Al was given to nearly Shakespearian soliloquys about his fellow man and the state of life and you Miss Rose had just such a turn of phrase.

Really, just an amazing story and a wonderful characterization of the boys. Their new 'selves' fit quite nicely, and i felt as disappointed as Dean when they couldn't stay... And as happy as he did, upon reuniting with the Impala. And Sam, with his arm back up on the seat...

Wonderful stuff.

corvus_imbrifer

November 29 2007, 22:51:08 UTC 4 years ago

How fun that it was a surprise! I wouldn't have expected it to sustain a reader who sat down without knowing exactly what to expect.

And having set up the scenario of 'they have to escape before time runs out,' I realized I had committed the very sin I flog TV show writers for doing: contrivance. I, too, found myself hoping they could stay and be happy.

But as Sam pointed out, there were some downsides.

So glad you found this and enjoyed it.

4 years ago

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December 1 2007, 21:23:34 UTC 4 years ago

Text or HTML file?

I saw "Strangers in Gilead" recommended over on

tabaqui's LJ and I'm really excited about reading it. Do you think you could post a copy in HTML or text file format so that I can read it on my e-book? (I have an old 'Rocket' e-book that does not use pdf files.) I really can't afford to print fanfic out and the library computers that I use limit time to 30 minuets, just long enough to download fics to my e-book. :-)

Isolda

corvus_imbrifer

December 6 2007, 20:37:44 UTC 4 years ago

Re: Text or HTML file?

I've rebound into HTML, page one is here:

http://www.imbrium.net/storage/SIG/SIG01.html

I hope that works properly for you. Do let me know if there is something else I can do (zip the files up?) and do let me know your thoughts of the writing. Thanks!

4 years ago

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corvus_imbrifer

4 years ago

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corvus_imbrifer

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December 3 2007, 05:39:17 UTC 4 years ago

Man, now *that* was a tale!

Sam and Dean were beautifully handled, but what vaulted this way up beyond most fanfiction for me into "a great story, period" was Marie-Rose--her beautiful language, her musings on women and waiting--and the historical setting--from details like the brothers' surprisingly white teeth to the "gaggle of geese... stumping for votes."

And amazing how you kept the old setting feeling so real and present, but the Winchesters (even trying to fit in) so recognizably themselves. (I was even thinking when I read the "crowbait skunk" line, "hm that doesn't seem quite in character," and I should have had more faith as it became an actual plot point that was explained later!)

And at the end Rose decides to stop waiting! *punches air* Perfect and wonderful and, man, the language is gorgeous. I usually never notice the actual flow of words in a story and prefer transparent exposition, but Rose as a pov felt so complete and real and the words were so wonderful to read, but never over-the-top or purple to me. The end felt so triumphant, and the language helped carried me there.

Though this story definitely feels whole and complete, because of all the extra stuff we know about Sam and Dean, it also feels in many ways was like the missing half, the secret part... the half of the testosterone-heavy show we never see... or even the half that's left out the the classic western stories the Winchesters reference throughout... or even (most powerfully since you had the chops to take it on and do it so well) the not-usually told half of the real history itself.

I also love that Dean rode off to the Firefly theme, since I am a giant geek and perhaps have been known to sing it myself at appropriate times! :D

*thumbs way way way up*

(here from a rec on

tabaqui's lj)

corvus_imbrifer

December 3 2007, 19:20:57 UTC 4 years ago

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! And for the exactly reasons that I wanted to explore: the point of view of the Person in Peril who gets left behind, sometimes with little or no explanation of the strange events that occurred. No 'closure' for them. Particularly the women who wait. I'm also relieved you didn't find the prose purple, there were a couple of scenes I thought (being a gay male) I couldn't be less qualified to write.

I am obsessive with research and accuracy, and I discovered I had done the women of Nebraska a disservice: voting rights for women had been in the works since statehood, several years prior to the story, and Amelia Bloomer was active just down the road.

So glad you liked the characterization of the boys. It's the easy part, as we all know who we're talking about, but that's the part that can easily spoil any story if done wrong.

Thanks!

4 years ago

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corvus_imbrifer

4 years ago

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corvus_imbrifer

4 years ago

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unperfectwolf

December 5 2007, 22:47:05 UTC 4 years ago

Do you have this fic posted online anywhere? Adobe fucks with my laptop enough I won't let it open PDF files. I was rec'd this, but you know.

karasu_amagoi

December 5 2007, 23:00:11 UTC 4 years ago

I thought I was so clever just putting in PDF, I didn't realize it was restrictive. I'm reconstructing it even as we speak. I didn't put it up here on my regular journal because the white-on-black is difficult to read and I'm not adept enough with LJ to figure out how to override the background colour. I'm breaking the text into digestible pieces and figuring out how to do the 'next' 'previous' bits. Should be done shortly.

So excited to have it recommended!

unperfectwolf

4 years ago

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corvus_imbrifer

4 years ago

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unperfectwolf

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corvus_imbrifer

4 years ago

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concernedlily

December 12 2007, 20:52:02 UTC 4 years ago

Nothing I was supposed to be doing this evening was as good as losing myself in this story *g*. The whole thing was just perfect; I loved the way the boys found each other, the subtle way you got across what was going on, all the Western stuff (although this is not a genre I usually care for at all) and Miss Rose was wonderful, so vividly and beautifully written.

corvus_imbrifer

December 13 2007, 15:27:41 UTC 4 years ago

How wonderful that you found my little tale! I never thought to work in a western genre, it just happened. Glad it didn't come off like one of the tacky thematic hotel rooms the boys find themselves in. Thanks indeed.

sylvanwitch

January 4 2008, 02:39:11 UTC 4 years ago

Who are you, really?

Seriously, the quality of this writing is so spectacular that you either must do this for a real living or you're a hidden genius who deserves a lot more attention than you're apparently getting.

What strikes me most is the consistency of the quality of writing and the way that you use language to establish setting so that when we finally have anachronisms (such as Dean calling his brother a "brainiac" in answer to Tully's question) they are jarring in the extreme. The point-of-view is essential, the way we, the reader, are left to wait like Marie-Rose for what happens out-of-scene, the way we are forced to abide in the waiting, which drives home the main point of the story, both Marie-Rose's lot (and the lot of all women in that time) and also Sam's lot, the waiting on the other side for Dean to come back through. The tension this theme establishes, and the way you wind that tension out throughout the tale with the use of language so evocative of time and place is just spectacular beyond reckoning in words.

I can't say enough about this story. I just can't find enough words. I'm reccomending it high and low, and I hope that that's alright with you.

Bravo!

corvus_imbrifer

January 4 2008, 16:43:01 UTC 4 years ago

Mom, how did you find my Livejournal? Oh, wait, she can just manage e-mail.

Thanks for thinking I'm anything other than one more over-invested fan. I love storytelling, language and the mechanics of writing, so that's what you must have found worthwhile. Once one gets rolling in the style and dialect of the period, it was only a matter of vocabulary-wrangling. I'm glad you didn't find it excessive. Or overblown with purple prose, which at least fits in with the style. Especially in one or two particular scenes. Ahem.

I hope you found the characters believable, that's the most important thing. It was a serious gamble, that conceit of using other names for a large portion of the story. I figured if they weren't recognizable as themselves, I had no business writing at all.

I'm thrilled you find it recommendation-worthy. You are my twentieth comment, I treasure each one. Is that insufficient attention? I don't have connections with the larger fiction groups like sn-fic. Not prolific enough. I have one other story up on my journal (a Christmas story, written last year, not as long), and a little thing in the form of an email, if you're inclined to read those as well. And poetry, which no one reads at all.

Thanks for your wonderful compliments! Encouragement indeed to start the next story.

sylvanwitch

4 years ago

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corvus_imbrifer

4 years ago

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January 4 2008, 22:10:59 UTC 4 years ago

Wheee!! That was fun! I laughed, I was caught up, I was sad. And Chapter 19?! I'm a Deangirl, but damn. That Sam is hot!

Very nicely done. Thanks for sharing.

corvus_imbrifer

January 5 2008, 03:52:11 UTC 4 years ago

Wait, what was chapter 19? The barfight? Was Sam hot in that?

Heh. I'm glad you were able to see a bit of the Sam side of things then, in addition to the usual Dean fun. That's what fiction is for.

So glad you enjoyed it.

4 years ago

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faithintheboys

February 20 2008, 18:11:28 UTC 4 years ago

Oh wow. I just spent the course of three days reading this and I was amazed. Great job! The characters were perfect, the POV was insightful. I loved the whole thing. I can so imagine Dean and Sam on horses. I love the work you put into in establishing the characters and the town. Perfect. Thanks so much for writing this. Loved i!

corvus_imbrifer

February 20 2008, 23:18:41 UTC 4 years ago

Three days? Either you are a slow reader or you were able to put it down. Drat, back to the drawing board.

Getting the characters right for the reader is of course vital. And the actors have done so much of the work for us already, all we have to do is not screw it up. Everything else is ornament. Very glad you enjoyed it.

faithintheboys

4 years ago

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faithintheboys

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